Wordful Wednesday

One little brother, two cousins, and an over abundance of dead leaves equals endless hours of fun and exploration.

Cute As A Button

The BARD button has been a part of Logan’s life for over three years now. It is very much a love hate relationship, much like cerebral palsy. I love and have learned to appreciate that he is able to get all necessary nutrients and medicines he needs to thrive. On the flip side, I hate that it is mostly responsible for taking all interest away from Logan wanting to eat or drink anything orally. I won’t place all the blame on his tube as I’m sure his dysphagia has a lot to do with it as well.

Oh, and lets not forget about the pain and discomfort it has brought over the years. Can you even imagine having that ripped out of your stomach and having another forced in every time it goes faulty? It breaks my heart each and every time he has to undergo that torment. There is no telling how much longer this feeding tube will be a part of Logan and our daily routine that is constantly under going revisions.

What Is A Miracle?

A miracle is….

…. not feeling ping pong ball sized knots every time we touch Logan’s calf muscles and knowing he is no longer in severe pain from those long lost knots (finally!).

…. watching his legs, in pure amazement, dangle at the knees when I pick him up from beneath his thighs. I used to be able to push doors open with his feet because he was so extremely tight and stiff as a board that his legs would not bend as I held him.

…. realizing that it is the brain that controls spasticity, not muscles. I am witnessing first hand how it is possible to overcome and help control spasticity without painful surgeries and poisonous Botox injections.

…. hearing Logan produce more sounds with intent to communicate rather than just noise. He’s been making more and more consonant sounds and actually putting two or more together as if to say his first word.

…. noticing how relaxed his toes are. Unless he was sleeping, his poor little piggies used to be scrunched up so tight and were even tighter when touched by anyone. Now, they are super relaxed even when being socialized!

…. getting overly excited when he picks up and actually plays with a toy!!! Previously, he showed very little to no interest in toys. He’d maybe look at it briefly and only touch it to move it out of his way. Now, he’s wanting to play and enjoys it!

…. dropping your jaw to the floor after seeing him being able to use his limbs individually instead of as a unit because his brain is learning to differentiate.

…. feeling your heart skip a beat as you witness Logan ‘seeing’ his little brother, Leviathan, for the very first time.

…. being overwhelmed with utter joy watching as your son has become aware of his surroundings and he his noticing the people around him. His eye contact has improved drastically.

…. seeing the enormous boost in his self confidence! His posture is better, he can sit up longer, he can twist his body at the hips, he can sit Indian style, and boy oh boy, he is lightening quick.

…. looking into your sons eyes as you’ve done so many times before, and being consumed in an instant with so much emotion that your nearly gasping because with out one single word, he looks at you differently, as if he’s piercing your soul, and tells you how incredibly HAPPY he is!!!

Our abundance of miracles don’t stop here. Logan is experiencing so many superb transformations, I can’t possible list them all. No words can express how meaningful it has been to see Logan ‘awaken’ into his body and come out of his own world to join ours. We credit our blessings to our Heavenly Father God for guiding us and giving us the Anat Baniel Method. It’s forever changed our lives.

A Coincidence Or Not?

I’m afraid not. Call me crazy, but I don’t believe in coincidences. What I do believe is that certain things happen for a reason. Though there are times I may never know the exact reason, there is definitely purpose. My perfect example is how Logan and I get involved with ABM.

Several months ago, I was given a link to the Anat Baniel Method website by Logan’s superb teacher (we love you Moe!). As I researched the wealth of information available on Anat’s site, I began to absorb it into my sponge of a brain. I decided it was well worth looking into finding a local practitioner for Logan. At that time, the nearest certified ABM practitioner was in Saginaw, a three hour drive from my house. I had hemmed and hawed at the idea and decided it was just too far of a drive and left it at that.

As time went by, I found myself putting my nose into more and more research. It was during that time I got real serious about taking a plunge into Euro-Peds. Serious to the point that I sent them $1000 bucks to put Logan’s name on their waiting list. I already had our dates of service scheduled and was finalizing each and every minor detail. Then along came my mother with a story that put this on hold.

A story of a sister of a gal that works with my mom, whom has two kids (how’s that for vague? I know, but I really could go on forever). To this day, I’m unsure of the kids' exact diagnosis, not that it matters anyway, but I was able to relate after hearing about the mother’s experiences prior to ABM sessions. After hearing how effective ABM has been for her children, I was inspired and decided to take another peek on Anat’s website.

Unlike my previous attempt to find a local practitioner, I was given a ‘HERE’S YOUR SIGN!’. I was blown away to find Rene', a certified ABM practitioner located in Grand Rapids. Only 35 miles away from home. I knew right then and there it was time to shove this ABM door wide open and charge through. Logan and I did just that. Having Rene' in our life is a true blessing and was surely meant to be. Every aspect was intentional and there is no coincidence about it. The miracles are abundant…..

My Version

• 2 roundtrip airfare to San Francisco = $990.
• Minivan rental for 11 days = $959.
• 11 nights stay at Best Western = $1,343.
• 12 Anat Baniel Method sessions = $2,880.

Logan’s ability to initiate climbing onto furniture with his left leg…. PRICELESS!!!

I Heart Faces

This capture was one of the first photos that came to my mind for the ‘Blue’ theme at I Heart Faces this week. While I was finalizing my decision to use this photo (too many to choose from), I was doing some editing. I began to whiten his teeth and dewrinkle his lips. In midst of doing so, I had a thought….

Why the heck am I editing this? Sure, it’d probably make for a smoother and brighter finish, however those features are a part of who Logan is. Due to his inability to eat and drink anything by mouth, what you see is bound to happen. No matter how much chap stick I slather on, no matter how much water goes through his feeding tube, no matter how often I am able to brush his teeth, these side effects of not being able to use his mouth as it is intended just won’t go away. Anyone know of a chap stick or lip balm that takes moisturizing to a new level? We’ve tried dozens and always looking for something new to try.

A Thousand Words Thursday

 

While we were in California for my little brother’s wedding, it was the first time I have seen my dad in sixteen very long years. Can you tell who’s my dad and who’s my uncle?

I’m rather a bag of mixed emotions as far as how to feel about my dad. More than anything, I am hurt and disappointed that he has missed out on half of my existence. My feelings from this experience dwell so deep and are very complex. A piece of my heart has been broken.

However, life is too short to hold a grudge. It’s never too late to mend that broken piece of heart. Together, my father and I can do just that. As long as we remember that the past has passed and there is always tomorrow.

I Heart Faces

My little love bug. So cute I wanna squish him! Take a peek at more completely candid shots at I Heart Faces.

Week In Review

What a crazy week it was. To say Logan and I were busy is purely an understatement. It was nothing but go, go, go.

To start the week, first up was ABM therapy at 11:00 am. This was our third session and what a great one it was. After therapy, we ran over to his 1:15 pm appointment with his neurodevelopment team. After the typical three hour appointment, it was determined that Logan will start a new formula. Out with Nutren Jr. with fiber and in with Kid Essentials with fiber. He’s a growing boy in need of many more calories. Other than that, I was told to keep doing what I’m doing. I have to admit, that really is quite comical. Like I need to sit in a room for three hours to have people recommend that I continue to do what I do. Com’mon, really? Although I’d love to voice my frustrations on that whole ordeal, I’ll just leave it at that. Otherwise I’ll never get done with this post.

As for Tuesday, if my memory serves me right…. I didn’t send Logan to school that morning. I figured another day off wouldn’t hurt as he was still overcoming his congestion from that nasty sinus ordeal. By the way, he is doing fabulous! Nearly done with all that mess now. What I do remember is that we had a neurologist appointment at 1:15 that afternoon. It was just a routine check up to make sure all is well, and that it is. Logan is to continue taking his Clonazepam for his mixed tone and anxiety. Other than that, he is to be seen in another nine months unless needed before hand.

Hump day started off with another session of ABM therapy at 9 am. It was session number four to be exact. The results thus far are stupendous. Even though Logan was upset and crying, I have never, allow me to stress on NEVER, seen him so relaxed while receiving therapy. Truly amazing! After therapy, Gram and I dropped Logan off at school only to realize the kiddos had a short day. A couple of hours of class time are better than none.

Thursday was all sorts of crazy. An ABM session at 9 am to begin our morning. After therapy we headed over to Logan’s pediatrician’s office. I had to drop off some paperwork and get signatures to allow Logan to receive medicine and therapy while he is at school. While I was there I figured I better make an appointment for the boys to get their flu shots. Gotta admit, I’m not looking forward to that visit. Next on the agenda was his first appointment with his pulmonologist at 2:30 pm. Due to Logan’s somewhat bizarre sleeping habits and his underlying history, he is to have a sleep study done. We are in the midst of getting the procedure scheduled. Hoping it will give us some answers to many questions. In the mean time, we are to start him back on Flonase. Hoping this will help reduce snoring and help him breathe easier. We will see.

To end the week, Logan and I started off with an errand. We were headed to Grand Rapids for his sixth session of ABM at 9:30 am. With all the construction going on, I over estimated our ETA and with time to spare we headed over to Pediatric Orthotic Specialists to get his left DAFO insert replaced. The darn thing was leaving nasty indentations on his ankle if not placed exactly right. After the last accidental incident, it was enough of that. It was overdue for a replacement. So we dropped that off, went to ABM, and returned to the Specialists afterwards to retrieve the insert. I was able to get Logan to school by 11:30. A bit late for his regimen tube feeding, but I was able to stay and ‘feed’ him lunch. This was a great opportunity for me to visit with his teacher and parapros and catch up on much needed business. Gosh, now that I think about it…. two short days out of five school days? What kind of track record is that?

Now that I’ve written another chapter into this book of Logan’s Life, I want to say thank you all for your support and understanding. I’ve not been the blogging fool I prefer to be, but life easily gets in the way.